i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
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K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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