i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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