I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
