guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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