physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize