We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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