I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup