by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"