Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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