Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?