Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..