i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
