Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
