look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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