her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
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there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
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He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
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