You smell like a Billy Joel song
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
