I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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