Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
