Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
