I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
