I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I enjoy the company of your penis
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
