am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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