I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
