And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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