Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
