We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
