That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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