If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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