Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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