So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
