Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
