It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
