grandma shit on top of the toilet
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
