he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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