new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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