The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
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I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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