I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
