i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
