People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
