Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
