You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Randomize
