do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
