if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
