i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize