Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize