Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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