Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
