he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
