Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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