He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
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sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
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I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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