Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
