Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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