I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
