dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
