I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
