jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
