Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
