Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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