i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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