i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
